This essay continues a sequence. Read the previous one here.
Love your enemies,
bless them that curse you,
do good to them that hate you,
and pray for them which despitefully use you,
and persecute you;
— KJV, Matt 5:44
This word “love” that we do not understand…
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The nature of real love has been discussed in various essays e.g. “Real Love Is Tough Love“.
Love & The Word
If we do not understand what love is, we will misinterpret Matt 5:44 and all the rest of The Word. And if we don’t understand It, we cannot apply It i.e. live It.
Most objective observers would agree that there is little correlation between the widespread adoption of Christianity and the impact of these words on society. There must be widespread misinterpretation, a lack of interest in applying The Word, or both.
In “Real Love Is Tough Love” we stated that love concerns itself with the spiritual benefit of the other.
In “Turn The Other Cheek: Why? How?” we established that this requires overcoming the ego.
“Spiritual” means it has nothing to do with the other’s material situation or what makes them feel good in the moment. “Spiritual benefit” means our volition, thoughts, words, and/or actions are oriented towards an improvement in that person’s character or personality.
The Self Is Not Selfless
Ego-dominance is deeply embedded in our psyche. The immediate implication is that most of our actions originate from self-interest (we observe everything from a perspective aligned with our interests and goals), and when we claim to be acting for the spiritual benefit of another some self-deceit is at work.
Love always helps. We cannot help a person in a spiritual sense if we don’t understand the person. So we need to understand that person.
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Love Powers Understanding
To understand another human being takes effort – often more effort than it would take to give them purely material help.
It involves dropping pre-existing views and stereotypes, accepting that the person is just as human as we are, observing them closely, and then trying to appreciate their actions, reactions, and opinions within that context.
This is a non-judgemental, selfless, and objective mode of observation. It means looking at our neighbour with “fresh eyes” and a spiritually merciful attitude (ref. “Blessed Are The Merciful“).
The degree to which we make this effort is determined by the degree of our desire to understand, which is an indicator of love for our neighbour. Christ, The Word, spent about three decades on Earth understanding man before He began to speak The Word…
A New Nature
This mode of observation is impeded by ego. We have a tight focus on our own priorities and desires, and a habit of assuming we already know. These are aspects of ego, and they make selfless “seeing” very difficult in any situation.
In “Ye Must Be Born Again, Part 2” and other essays we mentioned how, through The Word, Christ painted a detailed picture of the ideal human being.
When we consider Matt 5:44 in this light the gap between our current nature and the required ideal is striking: we do not evidence this desire for egoless understanding in most of our friendships, much less towards our enemies!
With our spouses we fall into rigid interaction patterns determined by habit and not by active, alert love. We do not make the spiritual effort to see them through fresh eyes every day, as independent individuals who are developing in their own direction, who we constantly need to lovingly reevaluate, understand afresh, and support accordingly.
Many of our friendships are superficial. We do not evidence a desire for a deep understanding of many of the people we call “friends”. We are satisfied with the relationship as long as it serves our purposes and is convenient.
Similar considerations apply to colleagues, acquaintances, etc.
We have a long way to go before we can claim to “love” our friends, talk less of “love our enemies“. Achieving the goal would require a totally transformed nature (ref. “Ye Must Be Born Again, Part 2“).
Today’s Resolution:
- We resolve to make the effort to truly understand those around us, in an objective and non-judgmental manner, so as to be able to help them through The Word.
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